We give a lot of lip service to putting ourselves first. Although we are aware we need to know and respect ourselves before we can really be present in relationship to others or fully commit to any course of action, we still put ourselves last in order to conform to social niceties. How is it that putting ourselves last still gains approval in some circles? How is it that selflessness is so often equated with kindness and generosity? How is it possible that dishonesty in the name of "being nice" still prevails?
Traditional wedding vows included a promise to "love, honor and obey" but have, in many cases evolved to say, "respect" rather than "obey." Hopefully, these are vows marriage partners think deeply about before stating them at the altar.
What are the vows we make to ourselves? Can we vow to love, honor and respect ourselves? If so, what might those vows require of us--not in theory, but in real practice? How might these vows impact our daily decisions, our relationships our other commitments?
One of my daily prayers includes the promise, "In my wholeness, I would love, honor and respect myself."
"Wholeness," means that my Genius, Wild and Divine aspects are aligned and in agreement with one another.
Can we love ourselves even in our apathy, insecurity, greed? Can we honor our need for good food and rest? Can we respect our decisions, which mean following through on them? How do we foster this kind of self-awareness, honesty and integrity within ourselves? Just as importantly, how can we generate and abide by such high ideals in our relationships with others until we embody them in our selves?
This week's Daily Commitments:
11-20-09. Today, and over the weekend, let's bring it all together. Aligning with Love, Honor and Respect within our Genius-Wild-Divine Wholeness.
Take some long, slow, cleansing breaths. Imagine the air coming into your body is opening you up. Feel your chest open. Feel your pelvic floor relax. And as you exhale, imagine the air leaving the body carries with it the tension in your jaw, neck, shoulders, fists, calves, spine. Take as long as you need. If your thoughts drift, gently bring yourself back. Allow for opening and relaxation.
Now, breathe into the belly, the center of the body. This is where your Wildness lives. Breathe into the Wild in you as you allow yourself to be bathed in Love. Feel Love welling up in your heart and overflowing into your belly. Feel Love pouring into you from the top and center of your head, which is called the crown. Feel each breath bring love into your body. Open to it. It cannot hurt you! It's love. It is unconditional and non-threatening.
Next, breath in Honor. Feel honor arise in you. It begins in the area of your throat and shoulders. Feel your posture change. Recall the honorable life you live. Remember the honorable acts you have committed. Let honor flood all the cells of your being. And breathe that into the Wild at the center of the body.
Your Wild Self may very well feel excited at this point. That's good! Just note the pleasure and move on to respect.
Feel Respect for yourself. Respect starts in the lower belly and pelvis. Feel it bubbling up into the belly and being caught by the Wild in you. Good. Recall the things you most respect about yourself. Remember that you are Loved and Honorable and deserve respect. Fill your Wild Self with Self Respect.
You are engaging your Genius, who is directing all this thinking. You are engaging your Wildness who is directing all this imagining and sensation and gathering all the Love, Honor and Respect you are sending her/him. Now, let us engage the Divine.
Continuing to breath--expanding beyond the edges of your skin, like a ballon. With each breath, fill the balloon with Love, Honor and Respect for your Self. If you are really excited, that's good. If you are weeping, that's good. Let whatever arises, arise withour judgement.
When you feel as though the balloon is filled with these emotions, and the life force which is a part of the air you are breathing, take four more breaths, and release the excess air in the balloon upwards, to just above your head, with the last exhalation.
Sit quietly for a few moments and notice any sensations you might feel. All your parts--Body, Genius, Wild and Divine--are aligned now with the powers of Love, Honor and Respect. Thus aligned and embodied, move through your day as usual, noting anything different about your actions, responses and relationships.
Have a gorgeous weekend.
11-19-09. Now, we come to respect for ourselves. Today, as you go from task to task, as you walk through your home, as you look in the mirror, ask yourself if you are respectful of yourself, your situation, your body-mind-soul.
True Self-respect is not and cannot be ego-driven or derived from the opinions of others. True Self-respect arises when we are certain we are making good decisions and engaging in right action.
As we progress through the day, there will be incidences where you realize you are behaving in ways that are disrespectful to the Body, the Genius, Wild or Divine aspects of yourself. Perhaps you promised yourself you'd exercise today or make that phone call and didn't. Perhaps you had fully intended to meditate or write in your journal but didn't prioritize your time.
What happens inside of us when we make ourselves promises and don't keep them? What happens when we repeatedly do that, as most of us have? What happens is the same thing that happens in our relationships with others who make promises and fail to keep them. We loose respect for them. We stop giving them our trust. When we fail to make good on our Self-promises, the same thing happens. And out negative self-talk drowns out any chance for self redemption.
Today, commit to keeping your promise to yourself about just one thing. Follow through. Start earning your self-respect back.
11-18-09. Invoke honor upon yourself. What does it mean to honor oneself? To be honorable? It's a good idea to get a sense of what you think and feel about the word "honor." You might look it up in a dictionary or write in your journal about it until you get a conceptual and emotional sense of the word.
Once you have defined "honor." set aside five to ten minutes to do this exercise.
Take a long, slow breath to deepen and center yourself. Relax the places in your body where you habitually hold tension--the jaw, forehead, neck, pelvic floor. And, using your breath, allow your fingers, chest and heart to soften and open. Each in-breath opens. Each exhalation deepens. Good.
Next, say out loud, "I honor myself." Feel that resonate within you. Your breath should be natural and relaxed as you name what you honor in yourself.
Honor your honesty and integrity, your passion and will. Honor your kindness and generosity. Honor your skills--list them. Honor your Genius self who is thoughtful, rational, logical and precise. Honor your Wild self who is intuitive, instinctual, emotional and signals us when we are in trouble or in love. Honor your Divine self who loves the whole self without condition. Let your Honor for self wash over you in waves.
Right now, you are honorable. If there are things you know you could be doing which would bring you more fully into a relationship of honor with yourself, what are they? Can you commit to pursuing those goals.
May you live honorably. May you behave honorably to yourself and others. May your actions be honorable.
11-17-09. Take a long, slow breath to deepen and center your attention. Let your jaw, shoulders and pelvic muscles relax. Allow your belly, chest and heart to open. Imagine your exhalation is ridding you of the armoring around your tender heart. Imagine your in-breath gently opening the heart while simultaneously carrying into you the courage to do this. You are being en-couraged and heartened.
If you can, allow yourself to feel love for/toward yourself. If you cannot really access that emotional state, that's okay. Pretend or imagine that you can. Make believe you are able, right now, to love yourself. If you feel silly or sad, or if reasons arise in your mind concerning why you are unlovable, just let them go. Release them with your out-breath. Be gentle.
Here, we are bathing in self love. Feel it wash over you and also through you. Feel (imagine or pretend) that everything which makes you you is being bathed in love. Imagine this in the way that makes sense to you, seeing your Genius Self--your mind being bathed in love. See your body, all its cells and organs being bathed in love. Your Wild Self with your memories, intuition, instinct and playful nature is loved. The Divine Self with your perfected wisdom is bathed in love.
Love all your parts. The beatiful truth is that we don't have to do, change or heal anything before loving ourselves. We can bathe in love right now. We do not have to earn it or prove we are worthy. We do not have to wait until we are further down our paths.
Allow love to wash over and through you. Immerse in it. Revel in it.
Breathe this feeling deep into you so you can carry it with you and access it always.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Begin Right Here
Are you ready for personal transformation? Is this the right time to develop your spiritual core? Can you make a commitment now to deal with that road-block you've been trying to avoid? Is today the day you'll begin being honest with yourself?
Is there ever a right time? Now is as good a time as any. And the sooner you begin, the sooner you will be on your way to living honestly and with integrity. The sooner we begin, the sooner we can set down our fears. The sooner we begin, the sooner we will know ourselves enough to heal. And beyond healing lies the joy we so strongly intuit awaits us.
We begin where we are. We approach and do the work, trusting subtle and powerful energies within and around us to guide and guard our journey toward alignment. Our Genius (thinking) selves long to make sense of it all by demanding answers to questions like who, where, what, when, why, how, how much, how often—and thereby prolong the time when we actually begin. We can get caught for years trying to answer this question only to come up with guesses and assumptions in the end.
The truth is that if we wait to know why, we may never begin (or restart, as the case may be) the journey in earnest. A Doctor doesn’t ask “why” is the bone broken or “why” is the artery ruptured. A doctor sets the bone, repairs the artery. When we step upon the path of self-awareness and healing we become the doctor for our own souls. No one else can heal our souls for us. As much as we want the therapist, the priest, shaman or guru to do it for us, they cannot. I myself am but a midwife. I am trained to show the way, but cannot do the work of birthing you into being. That labor is yours alone.
Set aside “why,” or keep it where you can explore it with your therapist. Right now, let’s begin.
Right here, is a place that feels rather uncomfortable but at the same time familiar. Here, we are fraught with fear. Here we berate, degrade, punish, coddle, belittle, abuse, addict, negate, deny, subsume and silence our Selves.
Right here, we have to admit that we are perhaps meaner to ourselves than to anyone else.
Right here we have to face the truth that we treat ourselves worse than we would allow anyone else to treat us.
Right here, we admit we wouldn't allow anyone to talk to our friends or family members the way we talk to ourselves inside our heads.
Right here, we recognize how desperately we need to forgive ourselves for being so mean to ourselves for being imperfect.
Right now we begin the work of forgiving ourselves for setting ourselves up to fail by erecting false gods of perfection.
Right now might be the moment to admit we need help. Or that we are leaving. Or that we are depressed, anxious, distraught, lonely, alcoholic, addicted to prescription or street drugs.
Right now we stand up and stare clear eyed into the face of our addiciton to food, television, money, stuff, relationships, sex, gambling, shopping, ego or power.
Right now, no matter how far along your path you are, it's time to get honest so you can begin.
Take a breath. Long. Full. Deep. And let it out. And see your resistance to the journey of self awareness and healing drop away from you with your breath. See your fear gather in your belly like a stone. See it drop into the still water of that part of you which is already whole. Give it over. Surrender.
And take another breath. The time is now. There is no better time. No more excuses. No more denial. No more lying to yourself that it's too scary.
The life you are living right now is scary. We live in a culture which requires we lie to ourselves and everyone else, saying things like, "I'm fine," and "I'm doing really well," and "Don't worry about me!"
If we begin to tell the truth we might not ever stop. And what a relief that would be.
Don't stop telling the truth.
Begin telling the truth.
It begins with a breath.
This post will be here all week. The daily commitments will change.
Let's begin.
A Week of Daily Commitments:
October 4, 2009 Today, take a look back over the week. Did you commit to one small or massive change? Were you able to surrender? Did you ask for help? Stay the course? Begin the process of forgiveness? If so, allow yourself to feel pride for taking steps toward becoming more whole, more honest, more yourSelf. Breathe into that Pride so that it enlarges. Fill yourself with Pride with every breath.
If not, perhaps you chose something too big. Can you break it down to something more manageable? Can you find a place of grace and forgiveness toward yourself? Breathe into that. I'll tell you a secret: The wonderful thing about beginnings is there is always a new one. Just think, you can begin anew right now.
_____
October 2, 2009. Just once today, when it'd be easy or habitual to gloss over or deny a truth, take a breath and tell it. The truth might be how you respond to the question, "How are you?" Or, it might be simply saying, "Thank you" when offered a compliment rather than minimizing your value.
_____
October 1, 2009. Often, when we commit to a new endeavor, our interest or ability to follow through wanes after just a few days. Today, show yourself that you can trust yourself. Come back to the commitment you made at the start of this week. Feel the impulse for healing and wholeness in your body-mind-heart-spirit. Breathe into that impulse to give it life. Today, commit to yourself again
_____
September 30, 2009. The universe will always leap to support you once you have committed to a path. Here, I am using the word universe instead of the word God, Goddess, Creative Force, Deity. It doesn’t matter what name you call it or how you envision the Something Bigger than you. We are not discussing religion here. In fact, bringing religion into the picture at this point could make you so mad you forget all about your commitment to yourself. What matters right now is our ability to call upon something larger and more powerful than ourselves so that we might align ourselves with it. That something might be the tree outside your window or the landscape all around you. It might be the night sky, the spirit of your grandmother, the god of your childhood or she who is the mother of all things.
There is also part of us which is larger than we know. One name for it is our Highest Self. Aligning that sacred part of ourselves with an energy or god we perceive as being much larger, will help us in our lives and in the commitment we are making this week to begin. Today, we can step forward by saying simply, “I am willing to align myself with my Highest Self. I trust my Highest Self knows how to align with even larger unseen forces who take an interest in my happiness.”
Breathe into the words. Allow yourself to feel the release of tension in your body as you speak them aloud or in silence. Say them again as often as you need.
_____
September 29, 2009 If the truth of your situation is such that you cannot face it alone, make a commitment to reach out for help today. Call a friend, therapist, hotline or 12 step program. Make an appointment to see your doctor, lawyer or financial advisor. Set up a consultation with a personal trainer or a date with a close friend to discuss your options. We have been indoctrinated into thinking we have to go it alone. That’s a lie. Ask for the support you need. The Universe will always leap to support you once you have committed to a path.
_________
September 28, 2009. Today, make a commitment to begin healing that which is in the way of your living your truth. It doesn't matter if you've been on your spiritual path a long time or if you don't even know what I mean when I use the word "path." What matters is that you begin healing sooner than later.
If you can, name the issue that stands in your way.
If you are afraid, simply notice the fear and forgive yourself. We are all often afraid.
Breathe through your fear: Inhale courage. Exhale fear. Inhale and give honor to yourself for naming the healing you need. Exhale shame for not being able to do it before now. Inhale pride at your ability to begin this journey. Exhale any guilt you feel about being "selfish" for desiring healing for yourself.
Know you are not alone.
Is there ever a right time? Now is as good a time as any. And the sooner you begin, the sooner you will be on your way to living honestly and with integrity. The sooner we begin, the sooner we can set down our fears. The sooner we begin, the sooner we will know ourselves enough to heal. And beyond healing lies the joy we so strongly intuit awaits us.
We begin where we are. We approach and do the work, trusting subtle and powerful energies within and around us to guide and guard our journey toward alignment. Our Genius (thinking) selves long to make sense of it all by demanding answers to questions like who, where, what, when, why, how, how much, how often—and thereby prolong the time when we actually begin. We can get caught for years trying to answer this question only to come up with guesses and assumptions in the end.
The truth is that if we wait to know why, we may never begin (or restart, as the case may be) the journey in earnest. A Doctor doesn’t ask “why” is the bone broken or “why” is the artery ruptured. A doctor sets the bone, repairs the artery. When we step upon the path of self-awareness and healing we become the doctor for our own souls. No one else can heal our souls for us. As much as we want the therapist, the priest, shaman or guru to do it for us, they cannot. I myself am but a midwife. I am trained to show the way, but cannot do the work of birthing you into being. That labor is yours alone.
Set aside “why,” or keep it where you can explore it with your therapist. Right now, let’s begin.
Right here, is a place that feels rather uncomfortable but at the same time familiar. Here, we are fraught with fear. Here we berate, degrade, punish, coddle, belittle, abuse, addict, negate, deny, subsume and silence our Selves.
Right here, we have to admit that we are perhaps meaner to ourselves than to anyone else.
Right here we have to face the truth that we treat ourselves worse than we would allow anyone else to treat us.
Right here, we admit we wouldn't allow anyone to talk to our friends or family members the way we talk to ourselves inside our heads.
Right here, we recognize how desperately we need to forgive ourselves for being so mean to ourselves for being imperfect.
Right now we begin the work of forgiving ourselves for setting ourselves up to fail by erecting false gods of perfection.
Right now might be the moment to admit we need help. Or that we are leaving. Or that we are depressed, anxious, distraught, lonely, alcoholic, addicted to prescription or street drugs.
Right now we stand up and stare clear eyed into the face of our addiciton to food, television, money, stuff, relationships, sex, gambling, shopping, ego or power.
Right now, no matter how far along your path you are, it's time to get honest so you can begin.
Take a breath. Long. Full. Deep. And let it out. And see your resistance to the journey of self awareness and healing drop away from you with your breath. See your fear gather in your belly like a stone. See it drop into the still water of that part of you which is already whole. Give it over. Surrender.
And take another breath. The time is now. There is no better time. No more excuses. No more denial. No more lying to yourself that it's too scary.
The life you are living right now is scary. We live in a culture which requires we lie to ourselves and everyone else, saying things like, "I'm fine," and "I'm doing really well," and "Don't worry about me!"
If we begin to tell the truth we might not ever stop. And what a relief that would be.
Don't stop telling the truth.
Begin telling the truth.
It begins with a breath.
This post will be here all week. The daily commitments will change.
Let's begin.
A Week of Daily Commitments:
October 4, 2009 Today, take a look back over the week. Did you commit to one small or massive change? Were you able to surrender? Did you ask for help? Stay the course? Begin the process of forgiveness? If so, allow yourself to feel pride for taking steps toward becoming more whole, more honest, more yourSelf. Breathe into that Pride so that it enlarges. Fill yourself with Pride with every breath.
If not, perhaps you chose something too big. Can you break it down to something more manageable? Can you find a place of grace and forgiveness toward yourself? Breathe into that. I'll tell you a secret: The wonderful thing about beginnings is there is always a new one. Just think, you can begin anew right now.
_____
October 2, 2009. Just once today, when it'd be easy or habitual to gloss over or deny a truth, take a breath and tell it. The truth might be how you respond to the question, "How are you?" Or, it might be simply saying, "Thank you" when offered a compliment rather than minimizing your value.
_____
October 1, 2009. Often, when we commit to a new endeavor, our interest or ability to follow through wanes after just a few days. Today, show yourself that you can trust yourself. Come back to the commitment you made at the start of this week. Feel the impulse for healing and wholeness in your body-mind-heart-spirit. Breathe into that impulse to give it life. Today, commit to yourself again
_____
September 30, 2009. The universe will always leap to support you once you have committed to a path. Here, I am using the word universe instead of the word God, Goddess, Creative Force, Deity. It doesn’t matter what name you call it or how you envision the Something Bigger than you. We are not discussing religion here. In fact, bringing religion into the picture at this point could make you so mad you forget all about your commitment to yourself. What matters right now is our ability to call upon something larger and more powerful than ourselves so that we might align ourselves with it. That something might be the tree outside your window or the landscape all around you. It might be the night sky, the spirit of your grandmother, the god of your childhood or she who is the mother of all things.
There is also part of us which is larger than we know. One name for it is our Highest Self. Aligning that sacred part of ourselves with an energy or god we perceive as being much larger, will help us in our lives and in the commitment we are making this week to begin. Today, we can step forward by saying simply, “I am willing to align myself with my Highest Self. I trust my Highest Self knows how to align with even larger unseen forces who take an interest in my happiness.”
Breathe into the words. Allow yourself to feel the release of tension in your body as you speak them aloud or in silence. Say them again as often as you need.
_____
September 29, 2009 If the truth of your situation is such that you cannot face it alone, make a commitment to reach out for help today. Call a friend, therapist, hotline or 12 step program. Make an appointment to see your doctor, lawyer or financial advisor. Set up a consultation with a personal trainer or a date with a close friend to discuss your options. We have been indoctrinated into thinking we have to go it alone. That’s a lie. Ask for the support you need. The Universe will always leap to support you once you have committed to a path.
_________
September 28, 2009. Today, make a commitment to begin healing that which is in the way of your living your truth. It doesn't matter if you've been on your spiritual path a long time or if you don't even know what I mean when I use the word "path." What matters is that you begin healing sooner than later.
If you can, name the issue that stands in your way.
If you are afraid, simply notice the fear and forgive yourself. We are all often afraid.
Breathe through your fear: Inhale courage. Exhale fear. Inhale and give honor to yourself for naming the healing you need. Exhale shame for not being able to do it before now. Inhale pride at your ability to begin this journey. Exhale any guilt you feel about being "selfish" for desiring healing for yourself.
Know you are not alone.
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